Blog posts

Your Ultimate Guide to Getting Better at Relationships #JiViSaOnRelationships

by JiViSa Wellness on Feb 02, 2024

We recently started with a series of LIVES called #JiViSaon on our Instagram handle and this time around we are talking about all things Relationships.

We hosted our first episode of the series #JiViSaOnRelationship called- Ready For Love?

#JiViSaOnRelationships is a 3-episode series where we talk all about love and relationships. Love isn’t only about gifting your partner flowers and chocolates, it’s about knowing them and your relationship in and out!

In our debut episode, "Ready For Love?", we opened up the floor for a candid discussion on navigating the complexities of relationships.

The LIVE Session covered various relationship related topics, from the importance of value alignments to recognizing red and green flags, setting boundaries, and mastering conflict resolution.  

Our panel included Tejasvi Singh Ahlawat, a rising Bollywood star, and Niti Gupta, a renowned Counselling Psychologist based in Singapore. Hosted by Sarika Panchhi, the CEO of JiViSa Wellness.

Here are a few questions that stayed with us:

Sarika- You say that people should set boundaries at the very beginning. It should be expressed, etc. I feel that sometimes when you're new in the relationship, it's not that comforting. So how do you do that and how important is it to set boundaries?

Niti- Yeah, so like I tell my clients all the time that boundaries are like cement. you know, when you are setting it, when the relationship is new, then you can set good boundaries because cement is wet. Once it's set, once you've started the relationship, friendship, any other relationship, then it becomes increasingly difficult with passing the time to change the boundaries.

Having said that, it's not like impossible to change it at any point of time. But again, boundaries... tie into our values because we have an idea of our boundaries if we know our values right.

So we have to be able to know our values right and then convey our boundaries, make our boundaries based on the values and then convey those boundaries very properly. Right.

Tejasvi- I was just gonna say that maybe not get in a relationship until you've got your boundaries down for yourself don't get in one

Sarika- But really, when should one quit? When should one think that now this is becoming toxic and I've done my bit. Should one do it?

Niti- So, I think when you should quit. is when net net you are in negative. So, you know what you're getting from the relationship now it's taking more from you than what you're getting in return right then it's a very clear indication that you have to quit if you've come in the negative, right?

A marker for that is if you are making most of your decisions based on fear rather than making your decisions based on love, passion and a sense of responsibility. Most of your decisions are being made because you are afraid of something. Then you are in net negative at that point. But you don't have to wait till you get into net negative also, breaking point.

You should be able to choose happiness! It's not that difficult to know that I'm not happy and all of us deserve happiness so you know, if you find that life is not living life is cutting so then you know, it's, it's, I mean, it's a very clear indication that you need to start living your life.

Sarika- What are certain red flags in a relationship according to you?

Tejasvi- I was just thinking and like in terms of red flags, how we see so many posts on Instagram the first slide is red flags that you should avoid. And I think number one on them is ghosting; that when somebody ghosts you or doesn't reply to you.

All of social media is telling you that ghosting is a red flag. But if so, it's such a personal red flag because, I mean, how are you able to identify that it's a red flag? Because if somebody ghosts me, I know that I don't deserve this behaviour.

So, I think it comes down to what is my deservability. That's what makes the red flag personalized to me. What do I think I deserve? That is the love that I will accept. So, if I know my worth, my values, and what I want and deserve, then I'll be able to categorize it as a green or red flag. I think the red flags, your red flags, will be what you don't want and what you think you deserve.

Sarika- If you think that you can hear it from inside and you can understand it but you are lying to yourself, then please stop doing that. Strength will come automatically. For strength, you don't need any external validation. It lies here and it lies within.

Adding to this Tejasvi said- “in my experience, strength only comes after you've taken the action and when you see yourself in the past; oh, I did that? That's when you feel strength right? in the future, once you've done that action. So, it's not inside, you will get it in the future.

So don't expect strength to come when take a very important, difficult action. Just take that action and that process will give you strength. Just take the leap of faith and, you know, you'll land just fine.”

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.